


That's Plumb

by fazcinatingreads



Category: MasterChef Australia (TV) RPF, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
Genre: Gen, Gross, Italian, Jobs, Plumbers, plumbing, worst jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fazcinatingreads/pseuds/fazcinatingreads
Summary: Alex Fasolo always regrets taking over the family business started by his Italian forefathers Mario and Luigi





	1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful sunny day and Alex Fasolo was driving his ute to his next job. He recalled what the client had said, something about a clogged pipe. 

Groaning, he pulled into the driveway and hoping it wasn't another tampon saga, he got out of the car and hitched up his baggy pants. Alex grabbed a plunger and his toolkit and headed around the tradie's entrance (back gate).

"Oh, thank god you're here!" a man said, greeting him at the back door.

He led Alex into the bathroom and the smell hit Alex full in the face. He pegged his nose, slowly making his way to the toilet. Peering over, Alex saw the turd was still in there, floating happily.

The man flushed the toilet. Nothing happened.

"It won't go down," the man said, forlornly.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Did you try breaking it up with a stick?" 

The man grabbed Alex's plunger and shoved the end of it into the toilet. Alex turned away, dry heaving into the shower cubicle.

Alex heard the toilet flush and the man cheered. "It's gone!" he said.

"You didn't need to call a plumber for this," Alex moaned quietly.

"Thank you anyway," the man said, extremely grateful. "What do I owe you?"

"I'll send the bill in the mail," Alex replied, coming over and taking the plunger, grimacing at the poop still stuck to the handle. "I'll have to get a new plunger."

Once outside, Alex tossed the defecated plunger into the rubbish bin, sanitised his hands with his strawberry smelling sanitiser in his toolkit, and hurried back to his car. He got in and breathed in deep, savouring the smell of his Jordan De Goey air freshener. 

As he started the car and drove away, Alex did what he did after every plumbing job and silently cursed his Italian heritage for getting him into the industry.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex Fasolo quickly exited out the front door and immediately crouched down in the beautiful rose bushes and vomited. He watched the strawberry smoothie he'd had for breakfast pour all over the roses, turning them into a lovely shade of pink. They might have even looked more beautiful now, Alex thought to himself, trying hard not to think about what he'd just seen.

Ever since his plumbing business had brought in camera technology, they had to use it to get footage of tampons being stuck down drains. Why? Alex had no idea. His cousin Giuseppe was a great talker, it was he who managed to use the right words and hand gestures to convince Alex and the other cousins to use the technology. 

Alex shook his head, and wiped his mouth of vomit. He never wanted to see another tampon again. Surely people knew not to flush them down the toilet? It was basic science. He thought of the tampon today, covered in blood, and when he had to fish it out, it stunk so bad that he had dropped it down the pipe again and had to fish it out all over again. Surely it wasn't healthy to bleed that much and for the blood to stink? Alex didn't know how women lived with themselves. He'd grown up with a sister and even lived with her in his early twenties, but he always managed to avoid her in the Dream phase. Usually slept at a friend's place. 

It was nearly midday, so Alex got in his ute and drove to his house for a bite to eat for lunch. He was starving, having only eaten a smoothie for breakfast which was currently all over the roses.

Alex walked in the front door, and made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, and groaned when there was nothing appealing.

"Hey, hun?" Alex called through the house, "Did you eat all the fried rice from last night?"

"Yes!" a voice called out from the home office where his partner was working from home.

Alex groaned again, loudly.

"I heard that!" his partner yelled, and Alex could hear chuckling. It just made Alex groan even louder.

When Alex had wolfed down a cheese sandwich, he grabbed his keys and headed for the front door to his next job. He passed by the home office, just as his partner had emerged, leaning against the doorframe.

"Hey," Jock Zonfrillo said, leaning against the doorframe, a sly smile on his face. "Leaving so soon?"

"Hey," Alex said, pausing in the hallway, mesmerised by his live-in partner's handsome face. He took a few steps and planted a kiss on Jock's lips. "Yeah, I gotta run. Unblocking a drain in the southern suburbs."

Jock shook his head, bewildered. "I don't know how you put up with that shit," he said, not for the first time.

"Literally," Alex muttered.

Jock stroked Alex's face, his long sturdy fingers warm and soft. "You know, I could use some help with this cookbook I'm writing," Jock said, casually, with a shrug. 

"I can't," Alex said, tearing his eyes away from his boyfriend's stunning face and staring at the floor. "I gotta keep the family business running. You know that."

"But you hate it," Jock insisted.

"I know," Alex said quietly.

They stood there in silence for a while, Jock's hand still on Alex's face. Alex soaked in as much comfort from his partner as possible, and then tore himself away. 

He got to the front door, and looked back. "I'll bring home Thai for dinner," Alex said.

"Cool," Jock said, as the door banged shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex Fasolo rolled over in bed, yawning, as weak light filtered in through the blinds. He reached over to turn off his alarm and stretched his arms.

"Is it that time already?" his partner groaned sleepily, throwing a lazy arm over Alex in an effort to stop him from leaving.

"Yeah," Alex mumbled, "Got quite a few jobs to get to this morning."

"You always do," Jock grumbled, his face buried in the pillow, "Come home early today though. Remember we've got people coming over."

Alex swung his legs out of bed and sat up. "Not your friends Em and Michael again," he said, annoyed, "they're so...." 

"Straight?" Jock guessed, knowing how much Alex preferred his own kind.

"I was going to say loud," Alex corrected, shrugging. "Are they bringing their kids?"

"No, Chella's babysitting the other two for the night," Jock said.

Alex smiled gratefully, grabbed some clothes from the floor, and went into their ensuite for his morning shower.

When Alex emerged from the shower, hair wet and dripping all over the bedroom floor, he opened the wardrobe and grabbed the hanger holding his overalls, freshly dry cleaned.

"Don't know why you dry clean your work uniform," Jock mumbled from the bed.

"Tax benefits." Alex stepped into the overalls and pulled them over him. "Got an important job with new clients today. I'm installing a toilet for them." 

"Is this the first time they've owned a toilet?" Jock asked, jokingly.

"They had an outhouse in the backyard before this." Alex finished buttoning his overalls. 

He went to the kitchen to have breakfast and do the daily crossword from the newspaper. After nutting out a few cryptics, Alex went back to the bedroom to kiss his live-in partner goodbye and headed out the door.

....

The morning went well, he was mostly fixing pipe issues and didn't have to deal with tampons or "flushable" wipes. By the time he arrived at the new client's house, Alex was in a jovial mood and walked in the house with a spring in his step.

*several hours later*

Alex arrived home, wet and reeking of something horrible, the buttons of his overalls falling off and the material in ribbons.

He opened the front door and grimaced at the laughing and talking coming from the dining room. Shit. He forgot Jock had his friends over tonight. Limping through the hallway, Alex longed for a hot bath and cup of tea, so he headed straight for the ensuite.

Jock sprung up from nowhere just as Alex was pulling off his clothes in their ensuite. "Hey!" he said, putting a hand on Alex's arm to stop him taking his clothes off. "Come join us. We can bathe later."

Alex just stared at him, blankly, a sour look on his face.

"Rough day at the office?" Jock said, eyebrow raised.

Alex said nothing. He continued pulling his clothes off.

"Hey, we've always wanted to see an ensuite designed by a plumber," a loud voice called from behind them. It was Em Rusciano, bursting into the bedroom. She took in the state of Alex's clothes, the dirt and smears of poo across his face, and grinned. "Hi Alex!"

Michael Lucas came in after Em. "Hey honey, I don't think we should intrude in their bedroom..." he said, grabbing Em's arm and trying to drag his wife back to the dining table.

"No it's okay," Alex mumbled, "I'm just pulling on some clean clothes and will join you out there in a sec."

"Good man," Jock said, proudly, clapping a hand on Alex's shoulder.

Alex made a muffled snorting sound.

"He always hates his job, doesn't he?" Em whispered to Michael, but of course it was still within earshot of Alex, who sighed loudly.

"Shhh," Michael said, always the tactful one.

"But why does he still do it?" Em said, as they made their way back to the dining room, "He could be anything he wants."

Jock locked eyes with Alex, mouthed a "thank you" and made to follow their dinner guests.

"What did you say?" Alex asked, warily, shoulders tensing for a fight.

Jock turned back. "I said thank you."

"Oh," Alex said, shoulders deflating, tension flowing from him, "Why'd you whisper it?"


End file.
